Don’t Even Try To Out Stupid Donald Trump

Don’t Even Try To Out Stupid Donald Trump


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AS YOU MIGHT KNOW, TRUMP HAS PLUNGED
THE WORLD INTO A TRADE WAR. BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE STILL TRYING
DESPERATELY TO STOP IT, LIKE EUROPEAN COMMISSION PRESIDENT
AND MAN NOT IMPRESSED BY HIS GRANDSON’S MAGIC TRICK,
JEAN-CLAUDE JUNCKER. JUNCKER MET WITH TRUMP AT THE
WHITE HOUSE TODAY TO TRY TO TALK TRUMP OUT OF HIS TRADE WAR WITH
THE E.U. AND IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS
VISIT, YESTERDAY TRUMP TWEETED, “THE EUROPEAN UNION IS COMING TO
WASHINGTON TOMORROW TO NEGOTIATE A DEAL ON TRADE. I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THEM. BOTH THE U.S. AND THE E.U. DROP
ALL TARIFFS, BARRIERS, AND SUBSIDIES! THAT WOULD FINALLY BE CALLED
FREE MARKET AND FAIR TRADE! HOPE THEY DO IT, WE ARE READY–
BUT THEY WON’T!” ( LAUGHTER )
WELL, NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE. ( LAUGHTER )
THAT’S LIKE IF YOUR PSYCHIATRIST SAID, “IT WOULD BE GREAT IF WE
COULD FIGURE OUT YOUR ISSUES WITH YOUR MOTHER. BUT AIN’T NO WAY THAT’S
HAPPENING, MAMA’S BOY. UH-OH, HERE COME THE
WATERWORKS. GO AHEAD AND SQUIRT THEM.” AND JUNCKER IS READY TO GO TO
THE MATTRESSES HERE. RESPONDING TO TRUMP’S THREATS OF
STEEL AND ALUMINUM TARIFFS, JUNCKER SAID, “SO NOW WE WILL
ALSO IMPOSE IMPORT TARIFFS. THIS IS BASICALLY A STUPID
PROCESS, THE FACT THAT WE HAVE TO DO THIS. BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT. WE WILL NOW IMPOSE TARIFFS ON
MOTORCYCLES, HARLEY-DAVIDSON; ON BLUE JEANS, LEVIS; ON
BOURBON. WE CAN ALSO DO STUPID.” ( LAUGHTER ). ( CHEERS )
OH. OH. OH, WE KNOW EUROPEANS CAN DO
STUPID. I’VE MET PIERS MORGAN. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT, HOLD ON, JUNCKER. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU’RE GOING
TO OUT-STUPID THIS GUY?>>BING, BING, BONG, BONG, BING,
BING, BING. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, RIGHT? (STAR SPANGLED BANNER)
GOD BLESS THE UNITED SHTATES.>>Stephen: SO, YEAH, YEAH, GOOD
LUCK OUT-DUMBING THAT. HE’S LIKE THE BOBBY FISCHER OF
BEING A MORON– HE’S ALWAYS THREE MOVES AHEAD, AND HE’S
GROPING THE QUEEN. BUT TRUMP JUST WANTS EVERYONE TO
GET OFF HIS CASE, TWEETING, “WHEN YOU HAVE PEOPLE SNIPPING
AT YOUR HEELS DURING A NEGOTIATION, IT WILL ONLY TAKE
LONGER TO MAKE A DEAL, AND THE DEAL WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS IT
COULD HAVE BEEN WITH UNITY. NEGOTIATIONS ARE GOING REALLY
WELL, BE COOL. THE END RESULT WILL BE WORTH
IT!” “BE COOL”?>>Jon: BE COOL!>>Stephen: BE COOL.>>Jon: BE COOL, DADDY.>>Stephen: THAT’S WHAT YOU
SAY WHEN YOU’RE NEGOTIATING FOR A BAG OF WEED, NOT PLUNGING THE
WORLD INTO AN ECONOMIC CRISIS. “IT’S JUST A FEW HUNDRED BILLION
DOLLARS WORTH OF TARIFFS. CHILLAX, BRO-SEF.” ( LAUGHTER )
THIS AFTERNOONA THIS AFTERNOON, THIS JUST HAPPENED? THIS AFTERNOON,
TRUMP AND JUNCKER AGREED THAT EUROPE WOULD AGREE TO IMPORT
MORE LIQUEFIED NATURAL GAS AND SOYBEANS WHILE NEGOTIATIONS
CONTINUED. AND THAT’S A GOOD THING, BECAUSE
THE PEOPLE GETTING HURT THE MOST BY ALL THIS ARE FARMERS. FIRST, TRUMP SLAPPED A TARIFF ON
CHINESE SOLAR PANELS. THEN CHINA CAME BACK AND HIT US
WITH A TARIFF RIGHT IN THE SOYBEANS. NOW TRUMP’S HITTING BACK WITH A
TARIFF ON SEAFOOD AND COSMETIC PRODUCTS. SO IT’S ABOUT TO GET A LOT MORE
EXPENSIVE TO PUT MASCARA ON YOUR GOLDFISH. ( LAUGHTER )
THESE– THESE ARE TRUMP’S PEOPLE, AND HE IS RUINING THEIR
LIVELIHOODS. CHINA IS BY FAR THE BIGGEST
CONSUMER OF AMERICAN SOYBEANS, AND NOW U.S. SOYBEAN PRICES HAVE
PLUNGED TO A TEN-YEAR LOW. OH, NO… IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF
I KNEW HOW MUCH SOYBEANS USED TO COST. ( LAUGHTER )
SO TRUMP IS SCRAMBLING TO APPEASE HIS FARMER BASE,
TWEETING THINGS LIKE, “CHINA IS TARGETING OUR FARMERS, WHO THEY
KNOW I LOVE AND RESPECT, AS A WAY OF GETTING ME TO CONTINUE
ALLOWING THEM TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE U.S. THEY ARE BEING VICIOUS IN WHAT
WILL BE THEIR FAILED ATTEMPT. WE WERE BEING NICE– UNTIL NOW!”
“YES, I LOVE ALL MY FARMERS. THE OLD McDONALDS, THE ONE IN
THE DELL, THE INSURANCE GUYS– ♪ I LOVE FARMERS
BUM, BA, DUM, DA, DUM DA, DUM, DUM” ♪
BUT TRUMP IS– ( APPLAUSE )
ARE THEY A SPONSOR? ARE THEY A SPONSOR? THEY’RE A SPONSOR! AND TRUMP IS PUTTING OUR MONEY
WHERE HIS STUPID MOUTH IS BECAUSE YESTERDAY, HE ANNOUNCED
PLANS TO SEND $12 BILLION TO FARMERS HURT BY RETALIATORY
TARIFFS. THAT’S A GOOD DEAL. NORMALLY, TRUMP ONLY PAYS
130 GRAND TO PEOPLE HE’S SCREWED. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO IT LOOKS LIKE– NOTHING? NOTHING?
TOO LATE! SO IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S MOVING
FORWARD. AND IN ORDER TO IMPLEMENT IT,
THE DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE ANNOUNCED IT WILL UTILIZE A
GREAT DEPRESSION-ERA LAW TO SEND PAYMENTS TO PRODUCERS OF DAIRY,
HOGS, AND CERTAIN CROPS. AND YOU KNOW THINGS ARE GOING
AWESOME WHEN YOUR SOLUTION IS, “HEY, WHAT DID WE DO DURING THE
GREAT DEPRESSION?” WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH “CBS
THIS MORNING”‘S JOHN DICKERSON.

82 thoughts on “Don’t Even Try To Out Stupid Donald Trump

  1. Democrats are senseless, faithless, feckless, heartless, ruthless and repugnant. Vote Red! The Dems are dead! KAG 2020! 🇺🇸

  2. Remember him offering a cheque to Trump's campain? He was sure Trump will lose. So who is stupid?
    Many of you continue to watch his show and believe his opinion. So, who is stupid?

  3. Why are ya'll talking crap about Donald Trump when Hillary Clinton watched people die and did nothing about it He's done a whole lot better than Barack Obama ever did or any other president

  4. Sorry to be THAT guy, but your chess reference is off. Bobby Fisher was a grand master. He was always 12-14 moves ahead. 🤷🏽‍♂️

  5. What's more appalling than trump?..Answer: The idiots that continually support, embrace and protect this P.O.S. I didn't realize that so many ( 63 million) people in the USA that voted for the moron is so clueless and apathetic about morals, ethics and decency. I thought that was the building blocks of the USA, it has been disregarded and disrespected to the point of total embarrassment. I guess we as Americans are not as far along with smarts as I thought, the bottom line is that you are what you are willing to accept.

  6. Almost half of all Trump supporters voted support in air-striking Agrabah (which is the nonexistent city from Aladdin). America is filled with dumb idiots, and our voting system allowed them to elect trump. We didn’t even vote for him. Now Trump has gone and started WWIII probably. I hate this country. Please save me.

  7. He's easily "out stupid'd" …..

    By the idiots who voted for him. You can't blame a dumb person for being dumb, but when you put him in power simply because you're still angry that the black guy won the last time, that's dumb.

    How the hell these idiots could think that this trust fund baby would ever help the common man is beyond me.

  8. I had a customer who actually believes that Donny Dumb Nuts is an actual successful businessman. This was a grown man with a job and family. Completely bamboozeled by this New York City con artist. Just do one internet search on Don the Con and it would be obvious to even the mentally challenged how much of a liar, a loser, a fake and a fraud this orange faced idiot clown is. He is the worst POTUS EVER and history will document it. He's Putin's puppet and beholding to the Saudis. Remember them? They gave us 9-11. Don't Boo, Vote Blue.

  9. So how did he win the Presidency against ALL the odds?

    He said he would win and he won. First the Rep Nomination and then the Presidential Race.

    All the "clever" people said it was impossible. First he would never win the GOP nomination and then he would never beat Hillary.

    So Trump clearly has something the "clever" people don't have. There is no argument against a fact. And it is a FACT that he is the POTUS.

    How did he do that? How did he beat the odds and pull off the greatest upset in US presidential history? How does a "stupid" person beat all those smart people?

  10. Keep giving the president free advertising. When you insult the president, you are insulting over 63 million americans who voted for him. With this amazing economy that he has created he has a growing fan base.

  11. We are all on stupid Acts from Trump so we rid of him but the person riding Trump is Mitch mac. No mater the person that Winn's Mitch has the rains and stops who ever and whatever Mitch is running this country

  12. I understand why everyone is on Trump's case about being stupid but look,
    Trump
    Obama
    GW
    Clinton
    George Bush
    Reagan
    Not counting Ford
    Carter
    Nixon
    LBJ
    JFK
    Ike
    Truman
    Roosevelt
    Hoover

    Of this list of presidents, how many Republicans were considered intelligent? Hoover was the third Republican president in a row. Their economic policies resulted in the great depression. Ike was a brilliant leader in war but wasn't interested in running for a second term. Automatically smart. Then Nixon, who was a cunning fellow but his paranoia ended his career. Next Reagan…really sweet guy, nuff said. George Bush, intelligent, a statesman and decorated veteran. His son GW…OK sometimes the apple falls really far from the tree…like plucked by a tornado and taken to South America far away. And finally Trump. Do we see a pattern here?

  13. @ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, I remember when Colbert was actually funny…
    Now "The Late Show" will soon be a "Late" show… as in "Deceased".

  14. I got my makeup. For a Trump Rally! How could i resist. I don't need nothing but Orange Makeup, at a Trump Rally! And it don't get better than this.".

  15. My song to honour the greatest clown ever…
    THE KING OF COMEDY!👨
    "Daddy Cool"
    " Hes crazy like a
    fool…
    What about Daddy cool?"🎹🎻🎶🎺🎸

  16. The most ironic of all is the people who voted for him are the ones he screwed the most so far. And they still like the idiot. 😂😂 😂 Makes me laugh till I stopped.

  17. Stephen Colbert's mouth is the cock holster for the Democratic propaganda machine. The Democrats had a terrible week,impeachment backfired, they tried tampering with the Iowa caucus results, that backfired, they showed up again at the State of the Union looking like they had just got back from a KKK rally. Nancy had to sit thru the State of the Union drunk ,and making stupid faces as Trump read of the accomplishments that have been made, until she flipped out and made an ass of herself. If only they had accomplished something, anything, they might have a platform to run on. Instead they have to resort to what they do best race baiting and playing the victim.

  18. I actually thought that the tweet ending "be cool" was one of Trump's better tweets. I am liking the Trump economy but I really wish they would take away his twitter account. But then again, it does make him seem like a regular person. The thing about always despising a person is that you lose credibility when criticizing him about something actually worth the criticism. It makes people defend things that don't warrant the defense due to them criticizing any and everything!

  19. Wow. Is that guy supposed to b funny or what? This is what is humorous to democrats? Your tardness continues to blow my mind. Cant wait for the civil war😃. 🖕🏻

  20. Don't underestimate the supidity potential of a drunkard like Juncker. Most of the time, he's too wasted to even know where he is.

  21. I hope Obama and all the other Democrats will help the candidate who wins were ever they can. Together they can stand (extra) strong against Trump.

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