Is Your Child Getting Enough Vitamin N?

Is Your Child Getting Enough Vitamin N?


I want to tell you about an essential vitamin
you’ve probably never heard of. If you’re a parent, or plan to be one, it
might be more important to your child’s growth than all other vitamins combined. And only you, a parent, can provide it. I call it Vitamin N. The word “No.” More and more children, I find, are suffering
from Vitamin N deficiency. And they, their parents, and our entire culture
are paying the price. Let me illustrate my point with a story that’s
quite typical. A father, I’ll call him Bill, gave his son,
age five, pretty much everything the little boy asked for. Like most parents, Bill wanted more than anything
for his son to be happy. But he wasn’t. Instead he was petulant, moody, and often
sullen. He was also having problems getting along
with other children. In addition, he was very demanding and rarely
if ever expressed any appreciation, let alone gratitude, for all the things Bill and his
wife were giving him. Was his son depressed, Bill wanted to know? Did he need therapy? His son, I told him, was suffering the predictable
ill effects of being over-indulged. What he needed was a healthy and steady dose
of Vitamin N. Over-indulgence–a deficiency of Vitamin
N—leads to its own form of addiction. When the point of diminishing returns is passed
(and it’s passed fairly early on), the receiving of things begins to generate nothing but want
for more things. One terrible effect of this is that our children
are becoming accustomed to a material standard that’s out of kilter with what they can
ever hope to achieve as adults. Consider also that many, if not most, children
attain this level of affluence not by working, sacrificing, or doing their best, but by whining,
demanding, and manipulating. So in the process of inflating their material
expectations, we also teach children that something can be had for next to nothing. Not only is that a falsehood, it’s also
one of the most dangerous, destructive attitudes a person can acquire. This may go a long way toward explaining why
the mental health of children in the 1950s – when kids got a lot less — was significantly
better than the mental health of today’s kids. Since the ‘50s, and especially in the last
few decades, as indulgence has become the parenting norm, the rates of child and teen
depression have skyrocketed. Children who grow up believing in the something-for-nothing fairy tale are likely to become emotionally stunted, self-centered adults. Then, when they themselves become parents,
they’re likely to overdose their children with material things – the piles of toys,
plushies, and gadgets one finds scattered around most households. In that way, over indulgence—a deficiency
of Vitamin N—becomes an inherited disease, an addiction passed from one generation to
the next. This also explains why children who get too
much of what they want rarely take proper care of anything they have. Why should they? After all, experience tells them that more
is always on the way. Children deserve better. They deserve to have parents attend to their
needs for protection, affection, and direction. Beyond that: They deserve to hear their parents
say “no” far more often than yes when it comes to their whimsical desires. They deserve to learn the value of constructive,
creative effort as opposed to the value of effort expended whining, lying on the floor
kicking and screaming, or playing one parent against the other. They deserve to learn that work is the only
truly fulfilling way of getting anything of value in life, and that the harder they work,
the more ultimately fulfilling the outcome. In the process of trying to protect children
from frustration, parents have turned reality upside down. A child raised in this topsy-turvy fashion
may not have the skills needed to stand on his or her own two feet when the time comes
to do so. Here’s a simple rule: Turn your children’s
world right-side up by giving them all of what they truly need, but no more than 25
percent of what they simply want. I call this the “Principle of Benign Deprivation.” When all is said and done, the most character-building
two-letter word in the English language is no. Vitamin N. Dispense it frequently. You’ll be happier in the long run, and so
will your child. I’m John Rosemond, author and family psychologist,
for Prager University.

100 thoughts on “Is Your Child Getting Enough Vitamin N?

  1. What blows my mind about Youtube is there is no discourse in these comment sections. Scroll down and everyone agrees. This is probably the best PragerU video on Youtube, but tons of stuff in this video is just straight up intellectually dishonest. Mentioning an decline in mental health in teenagers across a 60 year period without evening mentioning any of the other factors that might have caused it (lack of clear guidelines and awareness in the 50s, the fact that people could literally get bullied into suicide and it was written off has "he was weird", the increased competitiveness of today's landscape, decline in real wages…) and attributing it to parenting attitudes is just wrong. There are way more mistakes in just this video but I won't go into it. What I really think is messed up is that not even a single person has pointed this out in the comment sections.

    The message of the video isn't even bad, but how come there is no discussion? Is Youtube just completely echo chambers? What if you are holding incorrect opinions and you will just never know because people will never challenge you?

  2. I only get for my child things that will result in self development, learning and skill perfection.

  3. Sees the video's name
    Oh no…
    – I call it the vitamin N
    He will not
    – The word…
    Good lord, don't do that!
    – No
    Exhales

  4. Was hoping this would be funny… Because of its truth is just depressing. And then children who are raised with 'no' have to deal with those people.

  5. Bravo! We all need to develop a "built-in, shockproof crap detector" (Ernest Hemingway). PragerU videos can help. Alfred Korzybski (d.1950) would support PragerU's mission, while cautioning about the high levels of abstraction used (and mis-used) by all of us! This is the kind of discussion Korzybski would have appreciated, and a familiarity with the principles of his "general semantics" (“Science and Sanity,” 5th Ed., 1994, and other works) would help us to better understand and avoid much of the current age's insanity, anger and confusion. Look him up!

  6. I just hate how y'all described young depressed folks as "whining, demanding children". I have mental illness that I have to battle against everyday and suddenly this comes up in my recommendations. Huh. Guess I just have to forget about all the emotional abuse I have endured because of my mother. I mean… The whole idea of this video is fine but you shouldn't brush depressed people like that. It just makes everything worse. Thanks and bless y'all.

  7. It's important to have boundaries with young children, but it does need to be balanced – too much punishment and purposely ignoring their wants, especially as they become teens and young adults is just plain evil. Just be sure to respond appropriately and don't give punishments or answers that are too big for the crime. You won't get it right every time, but a little bit of consideration can go a long way.

  8. My parents can’t even afford to give me everything, I appreciate pretty much everything I get, yet I’m still depressed

    IT’S ALMOST AS IF CORRELATION ISN’T CAUSATION

  9. I’m frightened for your kids dude. While I agree that saying “no” is important, teaching them that “work is the only way” ruins any chance for them to learn about mercy and charity.

    Life would be shit if everyone was that self-centered about work. It’s because of charity, forgiveness, tolerance, and saying “okay” that we have saints and heroes.

  10. The ones that disliked the video are the Antifa, Feminists, SJW’s, Democrats, Progressives, fascist, communist, Liberals, and Leftist. If I’m forgetting anything comment below lol!

  11. PragerU went from thinly veiled conservative propoganda to a bunch of videos of old guys complaining that the world has gone to shit.

  12. Did that man just link giving kids things to the massive amount of depression in teenagers? What an absolute twat

  13. Girl: "Hi :D"
    Boy: "I hate you!"

    …little did anyone know, the girl was actually pretty ugly so there was nothing wrong with the boy after all

  14. Or tell kids they need to do (age-appropriate) chores before they get another toy or electronic device. Work ethic is lacking in today’s world. I’m about to graduate high school with 44 college credits from CC and advanced classes and I cannot count how many times I went to bed late bc I did a lot of work.

  15. Imagine disliking this video, in disagreement with what he said, thinking that not giving your child anything and everything he/she wants is child abuse. The exact opposite is true.

  16. I got spanked, cut off from certain television shows which were age appropriate and cut off from enough food as a child and I still act like a brat. Sometimes a child needs more than just discipline. Sometimes there is an underlying issue you need to deal with. Maybe don't be a shitty parent

  17. I hope kids are being indoctrinated away from “traditional values” you know like being a racist homophobic peace misogynistic pile of dog doo take your Christian fairy tales amd keep them to yourself

  18. I'm like this but I'm trying to change myself. my parents spoiled me as a child and expected me to do and know my responsibilities as a teen without teaching me how

  19. My parents say no way more than yes. If I want something, my parents say u gotta work for it. So I umpire baseball games for money, i sell on eBay for money and help my neighbors when they’re on vacation for money. When my parents say yes to what I want, I’m grateful for it. My parents helped me realize u have to work to pay it bills, to own a house etc. If my parents spoiled me, I wouldn’t know what it’s like to work for my own money

  20. Another example of overindulgence that wasn't mentioned is being placed in too many activities more than necessary and then getting a trophy just for playing. Whether it's for competition or not, it does the same…sets them up for failure in the end. Double whammy!

  21. I get a hell of a vitamin N when I listen to rap music, but it ain't tha same vitamin they talkin' about in dis video. Even Eminem has given his fans vitamin N on a few occasions.

  22. On a serious note, I have a friend who's literally depressed because he's been rejected by 2 girls and he's only 14 years old. I sincerely think he's suffering from vitamin N deficiency

  23. Roblox: Player: goldfishmysnack She eat a lot of ice cream and she be unhealthy like 1000 Times Real Life: Me: Cookies,Cake,Unhealthy So that happens I play computers for tried and unhealthy

  24. I want to show you something all about me: Likes: (As Baby: Milk,Sleeping,Playing Toys) (As Young: Watching Movies Old And new,Sleeping,Roblox Games,Sleeping) Dislikes: Cheese,Soup,Don’t Like Going for walk (Sometimes) Quote: “Roblox Here I come” Personality: Acting

  25. I never dared ask bc I myself already know it was not going to happening . Vitamin n works cos I am proud of what I have become

  26. they can't pass this addiction to the next generation, because they can't succeed and cannot buy those things to their kids.

  27. This is why all the millennials are supporting Bernie Sanders and his platform of Socialism and free (taxpayer subsidized) stuff.

  28. My parents only give me 25% of what I want. They say no more than yes. My parents say especially my mom, “if u want to get u want, u need to work to get it.” I understood that I need to work for what I want. So I started to sell things on EBay, working at kids camps, cleaning neighbors houses, and umpire baseball games. I did that, I got money and ultimately was able to buy what I want with my own earned money. Now I feel better and usually feel guilty when my parents pay stuff for me when they do

  29. While "No" is the right answer much of the time, "vitamin N" means "nature", getting outside with some exercise.

  30. I disagree with you totally. You are absolutely wrong.
    I raised two girls that are now educated and raised their children in a loving Christian home. We never use NO in our house. It works!

  31. My parents only give me stuff if I earn it, pay for it, or if it's my birthday, or Christmas. I love them for this.

  32. Ah, just as I expect a PragerU video- making lots of claims, and not even giving a source. No study, no nothing.

    Just blanket statements. The universe is as it should be.

  33. The most character building Word in the English language is the "n" word, No! Vitamin N.
    Definitely seems that way these days.

  34. My two sons are great. I grew up in a drug house and decent clothes were a gift.
    I am raising my sons to work for what they have, they get 5 dollars a week if they do all their chores with out fuss or fighting over it.
    And I give them money for helping with house maintenance.
    I live in huge house with 13 bedrooms me, my wife and kids. My dad and all of her grandparents and in-laws live under one roof.
    I'm a commercial plumber and they are very smart when it comes to solving problems. They know not to get angery or freak out, they step back and take a break and come back with a cool head.

  35. I don't take awfully good care of my electronics, either. That, however, comes from growing up with Nintendo stuff, known for being nigh-indestructible. I'm fourteen years old, and my second laptop is over in warranty, while my first one still works (albeit with some visible corcuitry).

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