– What is up everybody? Look how glamorous I look today. There is barf on my shirt, there is boob milk on my shirt, there are boogers on my shirt and there’s probably pee on my shirt. I’m having a allergy day randomly like as you can hear in my nostrils. I didn’t start vlogging
until the sun went down, as you can see. But it’s been a day. As you can see by the
puffiness under my eyes, (sniffles) I just spent a good amount of time crying. I’ll get into that in a minute. You guys are used to me crying by now, so it’s no surprise that I was crying. I have a very exciting
video for you guys today. A while ago I did a video with Poshmark and I have a store on
Poshmark where I sell some of my old clothes and
you guys really liked it and you’ve all been asking me to put more stuff up on Poshmark. Well, I get to work with Poshmark again. I’m so excited they wanted
to work with me again. Cause I have a ton of
stuff I want to get rid of because I was traumatized by my pregnancy and I hated being pregnant so much and so I wanna get rid of everything that has to do with my pregnancy. So like, all my maternity clothes, anything I wore when I was pregnant, plus a bunch of other stuff. So I have bags of stuff
I’m gonna give away on Poshmark and I’m gonna
show you some of it. So in case any of you guys don’t know what the heck I’m talking about. Poshmark is an app. You can actually download the app for free with the link in the description below. And you guys can follow me, my store is @pregnantcoleen even though
I’m not pregnant anymore. And so you guys can go on and buy stuff. I’m not keeping the money. Every single penny I will be donating to women in need, mommies who need help. I’m very fortunate because of you guys, I have a really fortunate life. A nice big house. I have everything I need for my baby. But some moms don’t have that luxury. So we donate a lot of stuff,
a lot of baby toys and clothes and money and whatnot to women in need. So that’s where this money is going to go. So my mom is actually in town right now and she is gonna be helping me. My mom’s been helping me clean up, she’s been helping me
take care of the baby. So she’s gonna help me go
through some of the stuff right now and show you some of
the items that we’re selling. We’re just gonna go through my closet. It’s gonna be a lot of fun. Let’s do this. Mom’s here. We’re in my closet. And this is where I keep all my shirts and jackets and sweaters
and all that stuff. So mom,
– [Gwen] Yeah? – You have to help me decide
what else to get rid of. – Okay.
– Keep or get rid of? – Does it bring you joy? (gasps) – Marie Kondo.
(laughs) Is that her name?
– I don’t know. – We watched the show on
Netflix that everyone’s watching where she like goes through her closet. Well, this woman teaches
you how to tidy up and get rid of everything. And this brings me joy because Rachel got it for me for my birthday. – Keeper. 100%. – So keeper, meeper cause it’s sneeper. This is a definite keeper.
– Keeper. – Ballinger family merch. Go check that out. Haters Back Off sweatshirt.
– Keeper. – Keeper.
Actually, this top one. Oh this is gonna fall on me. – Ohhh. – Okay.
– Got it. – Let’s see. – You want me to hold them up to you? – Yeah. – Ohhh, unicorn. – It’s a barfing unicorn. – Oh it is barfing rainbow. – I feel like if I got rid of this, JoJo would be mad at me and
Parker would be mad at me, so I feel like I should keep it. Mom’s all like, eww (laughs). So here we have a dripping
crayon sweatshirt. – Out.
– I’ve never worn this. – Out. You’ve never worn it, it
doesn’t bring you joy. – Okay. Now I have this Sesame Street sweatshirt which I used to wear all the time but I don’t really wear it anymore. – You don’t wear it anymore. Gone.
– Gone. – Doesn’t bring you joy. (gasps) – My cookie shirt.
That brings me joy. – That one brings her joy.
– Yeah. – We’re keeping that.
– Strawberries. – I just made cookies tonight too. – So this is iconic because this was in a Sassy Dance video with
Mamrie Hart and Kory so I don’t want it but I
think that’s a good sell. – I think so too. Okay Rugrats. – Not a keeper but I used to
wear it all the time in videos. (gasps) This is iconic. D’you know what this is mom? – Opening cast and crew of- Oh, Disney! – High School Musical 3
when I worked at Disneyland. So, obviously this brings me lots of joy cause of lots of memories of
being in High School Musical 3. – [Gwen] 100%.
– Keeping. There’s a lot more for us to go through. Oh my gosh, holy smokes! So we’re gonna just start
uploading the stuff to Poshmark. Okay so we’ve gone through the closet. There’s so much stuff because I was triggered by a lot of it. So this we’re gonna get- Mom, can you believe I’m
getting rid of all this stuff? My super pregnant outfit. I wore this to Rosanna
Pansino’s Halloween party. I wore this a lot on tour- on my bus tour when I was pregnant and my little bump showed. I actually wore this when I accidentally revealed the gender of the
baby (laughs) on stage. So, I had a gender reveal video but I was on tour and I
hadn’t posted that video yet. On stage, I said he. Something about my son or
something and I was wearing that so, whoops! I hated my pregnancy so much
so even seeing the clothes from my pregnancy makes me like cringe. I wore this all the time
when I was pregnant on tour. It’s like a stretchy dress. These are all maternity clothes so like most of you won’t even be able to wear any of this stuff but maybe your mom’s if
they’re gonna have kids. Oh my gosh, I used to
wear this all the time. Half these clothes- Okay so half of these
clothes are pregnancy clothes cause I’m triggered by my own pregnancy and I don’t even wanna see
the clothes in my closet. And half of these clothes are, I will never be that skinny
again so gotta get rid of ’em. I honestly will never
be that tiny ever again. I have so much extra skin on my tummy so even if I get really skinny, I still will have all this extra skin. So crop tops are out of my life forever so I’m getting rid of a lot of crop tops. Oh I didn’t even wear
this because he came out. It says ‘Baby’s 1st
Christmas on the inside.’ So I was gonna wear that on Christmas Day (coughs) but Flynn came so I
never got to wear that. So there’s just like tons of stuff. That fit me at one point? In what world did this fit me? Like are you serious? There’s clothes kinda for everything. So go check it out. That’s hot.
(clicks tongue) Look at my little muffin. (whizzing noise) He’s so cute. (sniffles) Some of you might’ve been
wondering what that sound was. This is his owl friend and
it makes weird whale sounds. It helps to keep him asleep. Also, his marshmallow puffy
suit helps to keep him asleep. Flynn has had a rough day so that means mommy has had a rough day. That’s why I look like this but. We’ve been having a hard time with little Mr. Flynn again. Flynn is the sweetest, most amazing little boy in the whole world (sniffles) but Flynn has been very grumpy. Basically if Flynn’s awake,
he’s crying (laughs) so we’re doing everything we
can to make him happier but that’s kinda what
I’ve been going through. And so today I just kind
of had a huge breakdown and was like sobbing,
feeling like a horrible mom because I’m gonna cry again but because you don’t like seeing
your baby upset and in pain. And so seeing him cry and
seeing that he was hurting and I couldn’t make it
stop like I couldn’t help, (sniffles) it really upsets me cause I
wanna make him feel better. So that’s why I look
like a hot mess today. But anyway, by the way, this thing (sniffles) while it helps him sleep and it makes the craziest noises ever, one of the sounds is like
way deep in the background (sniffles) and it sounds like a cat meowing and it freaks me out all day. I think there’s a cat stuck in the cupboard or something,
stresses me out. Oh my God, there’s a lot of sour cream just all over my coffee table. Hashtag mom life (laughs). This is my life now. A little crazy how your
life just completely changes in literally an instant
when you have a baby, like an instant. Erik’s watching the baby so that I can take a shower, which is amazing. Any new moms out there
or anyone who is a mom who knows what it’s like to be a new mom, (water running) you know how much this is is appreciated like showers are hard to sneak
in, so I’m stoked right now. It’s been such a hard day like (inhales deeply) (exhales sharply) I feel like I needed a good
cry so I’m glad I got that out cause I’ve been trying
really hard to stay strong. I haven’t cried a sad cry since I think I was pregnant. Since he’s been born, I’ve
only cried happy tears and this is a- today was like a sad cry. And I needed to get it
out cause it’s been hard. He’s been having a hard time. It’s been rough. I could literally hear
him screaming, hold on. It was a ghost scream. They’re listening to
classical music downstairs. I have, I hear ghost screams
like while I’m in the shower, if I’m like in the car,
if I’m away from him, I feel like I can hear him screaming. He screams 24/7 lately. So when I’m not around him I’m like, I can still hear him screaming. We’re gonna get it figured out. I just feel so bad for him
like I just wanna fix it. (water running) It’s really frustrating and really sad when your little sweet baby is crying and you can’t fix it. Honestly, it’s the worst feeling
I’ve ever felt in my life. Like to know my son is in pain and to not be able to take the pain away is like gut-wrenching. It’s the saddest feeling
(laughs) in the whole world. Like I just wanna take
away his pain so bad. I feel like when I was
pregnant, I could do that. Like I feel like the
reason I was so miserable during my pregnancy was
because he was taking all the good juices from my body. He was taking all the
nutrients, all the health, all my blood like he was
taking everything good from me. He would take all my
blood and I would faint. He would take away all the nutrients out of my food and I would get sick. He would be getting bigger
and he’d clog up (sniffles) space so that I couldn’t breathe. He made me sick so that he could be well. Now that he’s out, I can’t do that anymore and now he is crying,
I do hear him crying. (grunts) Okay, I’m gonna hurry up and take a shower so that I can get back to him. Yeah but I love you guys. I hope you liked this video. Make sure you go check out my Poshmark. Link’s in the description. (sniffles) I am really tired. I need a shower.
Goodbye. (soft jazz music)